I will piss on your floor!

Seriously, I actually had a man tell me that when I told him I had no public restroom.  Is it so hard to believe that after you have searched the lobby area and the vending area of the hotel and seen no door, except for the "Employee Only" door, that there is no public restroom here.  Not every place has a public restroom.  Do you go into the mall and assume every little shop along the way has a public restroom?  No.  You assume the anchor stores do though, and you would be right.  But that Hot Topic there, they don't have a public restroom and they sure has hell aren't going to let you into theirs, that's a Loss Prevention issue.  People don't question this.  You might ask, they will say no, direct you to the nearest public restroom either maintained by the mall or one of the anchor stores and you're fine with this.

Yet I tell you the same thing and the world will end.  People constantly stop at the hotel I work at demanding a restroom.  And they're none to polite about it either.  Most come though the doors, walk though the lobby like they own the place, stop when they get to the carpeting that indicates the rooms are starting, turn around, go down the little hall where the vending machines are see the "Employee Only" door, turn around again and storm up to the desk demanding a bathroom.

Now, my problem with letting people use my employee bathroom is this; it's right next to my desk.  I don't want some freak using this bathroom thing as an excuse to jump and kill me.  I'm not comfortable with this situation.  At all.  Ever.  I don't care if you're claiming your 5 year old has to go or you 95 year old.  I don't want people I don't know that close to me, my computers or my cash drawer.  There's a certain bubble of professional comfort that I'm cool with and you being in that bathroom is violating that bubble.

And don't give me the "I have a condition" line.  Guess what? I do too.  It's called Crohn's Disease and it's basically arthritis for your digestive system.  It makes eating and living generally hellish when it's flaring and it's mildly tolerable when not.  You the reader are thinking this is going to make me more sympathetic I know, and I just want to say it does not, in any way, shape or form.  Here's why;  If you have such a horrible condition you wouldn't take a chance on stopping at a place that may or may not have a restroom.  You would take the sure thing.  That's what I do.  You wouldn't stop at an arbitrary hotel off the Turnpike, you would stop at the McDonald's you can see from the off ramp because you KNOW they have a restroom.  I could understand if this was the middle of Montana and mine was the only establishment for 100 miles.  Sure, come on in then, have a pee, but its not.  If I need to stop and I am given a choice between 2 or more establishments and I know one of them has a restroom, I take the known.  I'm not chancing it.

As previously mentioned, there's a McDonald's and 2 gas stations about 400 yards from the driveway here.  I also know darn well that you can see McDonald's sign from the Turnpike.  So why, prey tell, do people stop at a place that is not guaranteed to have a restroom?

Seriously, I'm asking why.